In recent closed-door testimony during the House Oversight Committee’s impeachment inquiry into his business dealings, Hunter Biden stated, “To be clear, I have made mistakes in my life, and I have squandered opportunities and privileges that were afforded to me. I know that. I am responsible for that. And I am making amends for that.”
Hunter Biden did not explicitly say he felt shame for his actions, but we can infer the association based on his desire to make “amends,” common AA lingo for efforts to undo the harms caused to others as a result of addictive behaviors. And similar recent quotes about his past highlight the role of prosocial shame in recovery from addiction. As a doctor who specializes in addiction treatment, I am familiar with this concept.
What makes Hunter Biden’s experience even more notable, of course, is that it is inevitably linked to an important and consequential presidential election.
Shame is a gut-punch emotion we feel when we anticipate or experience disapproval, especially when accompanied by the fear of rejection and/or punishment. In reference to a text he sent to a business partner, claiming his father President Joe Biden was sitting next to him when he wasn’t, Hunter Biden stated, “My addiction is not an excuse, but I can tell you this: I am more embarrassed of this text message, if it actually did come from me, than any text message I’ve ever sent…. My father was not sitting next to me. My father had no awareness. My father had no awareness of the business that I was doing. My father never benefited from any of the business that I was doing. And so, I take full responsibility for being an absolute ass and idiot when I sent this message.”
I have not worked with Hunter Biden, and therefore cannot diagnose or speak to many specifics of his experience. But the public nature of his struggle, and its potential fallout, present valuable opportunities for us all to understand the strife of addiction that so many in this country face. What makes Hunter Biden’s experience even more notable, of course, is that it is inevitably linked to an important and consequential presidential election.
Shame is commonly understood today as contributing to addiction. As people get caught in the harmful vortex of compulsive overconsumption, unable to stop even when they want to, feelings of shame can perpetuate addictive behaviors as we seek to escape experiencing painful emotions and wallow in the regret of past actions.
But shame is also a powerful driver of recovery. If we didn’t feel shame for certain behaviors, we wouldn’t be motivated to change them. Shame can help propel us into recovery, and avoiding the larger shame of relapse can sometimes help keep us there.
At its core, shame is what binds us together in social groups and strengthens and preserves social norms. And this is how the destructive shame of addiction can also become the prosocial shame of recovery.
For shame to be prosocial, we must experience ourselves as redeemable despite our transgressions, which means being surrounded by people who believe we have the capacity to change and who help show us the way. Hunter Biden wrote in his memoir that “the confidence my father has in me is evidenced by the fact that he still ran.” For Hunter, Biden’s candidacy for president became a symbol of Hunter’s potential for recovery.
Prosocial shame is also inspired by knowing that our recovery is important not just to us, but to those around us. “I feel a responsibility to everyone struggling through their own recovery to succeed,” Hunter Biden said of his ongoing recovery during a recent interview with Axios. As a highly visible, public person, he views his recovery as tied to the struggles of others with addiction. His story gives hope, and likewise, his relapse might cast doubt on the ability of others to succeed.
On the upcoming presidential election, Hunter Biden stated, “I have something much bigger than even myself at stake. We are in the middle of a fight for the future of democracy.” Now Hunter Biden’s recovery has meaning not just for himself, his family, and others struggling with addiction, but also for an abstract concept, democracy.
His story gives hope, and likewise, his relapse might cast doubt on the ability of others to succeed.
For many people with addiction, the weight of accountability, and the shame they would experience if they relapsed, is exactly what they need to strengthen their resolve to stay sober. In some ways, it’s the “unbearable lightness of being,” in the words of novelist Milan Kundera, that trips us up.
Of course, these pressures can cut both ways. And what happens when the person or thing holding us accountable is no longer there? What will happen to Hunter Biden’s recovery once the election and these hearings are over? Will a degree of anonymity give him the psychological space to thrive in recovery, or will it remove the public accountability that may be helping his recovery? It’s impossible to know, but often the biggest challenges people with addiction in recovery face occur after the acute crisis is over.
