In one instant, the life I knew was stolen from me by murderers and terrorists. One horrific moment ultimately turned into 54 days. Each day, my life — my husband, three beautiful children, friends, my parents, neighbors, my sense of time — faded further into a suffocating blurriness.
Until Oct. 7, 2023, I called Kibbutz Nir Oz in Israel our home. It was a peaceful agricultural community before the Hamas terrorists launched a relentless and brutal attack, killing innocent men, women and children and destroying all that we had built. Hamas took me hostage and killed my husband, Aviv, the love of my life for 30 years.
Each day, my life — my husband, three beautiful children, friends, my parents, neighbors, my sense of time — faded further into a suffocating blurriness.
It has now been 100 days since Oct. 7, when approximately 1,200 Israelis were brutally murdered and about 240 hostages were taken to Gaza. The 136 hostages believed to remain captive have been held in horrific conditions, with little food, fresh air or sunlight. They are suffering from injuries, starvation, torture and sexual violence.
It is difficult to convey how I feel about being home. I feel lucky to have been released during the temporary cease-fire, but I mourn for those I left behind. As happy as I am to be home with my children, the murder of my husband has left a wound that won’t heal. And although I’m grateful for the support I’ve received from world leaders fighting for an end to this crisis, I can’t help but feel like we’re failing. They are failing.
It has been 100 days, and each of these days and each of the 136 souls still in the hands of Hamas represents the failures of every government and leader who has the power to secure their release. Time is running out, and we need leadership in the U.S., Israel and across the region to do more if we have any hope of seeing the remaining hostages come home alive.
President Joe Biden and his administration have my heartfelt gratitude for their successful efforts in securing my release and the release of many others. The president has laid out his vision for “the day after” — the plan for aPalestine after the current fighting is over. But it’s clear that we’re still so far from that day; we are stuck on Oct. 7 and will be until all of the hostages are home.
In the meantime, I hope that the United States will push Israel, Qatar, Egypt and other regional players toward diplomacy, and toward an end to the historic use of war and terror as a tool for achieving political gains. The goal here is to reach an agreement that embodies long-held American values and that will enable all people to live here in peace and security.
As I spoke with my captors, I was reminded of the language people used leading up to the Holocaust.
The Israeli government has failed in its responsibility to secure the release of the hostages and facilitate long-term security. Israel’s war Cabinet, led by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, has consistently been unable to provide a clear path forward toward “the day after.” The ultimate goals of the campaign and Netanyahu’s agenda are not clear, and it is the hostages who suffer because of it.
I reflect on this current political situation not only as a freed hostage, but as a history teacher. I processed what I heard in captivity through that same lens. As I spoke with my captors, I was reminded of the language people used leading up to the Holocaust. There can be no peace as long as people are motivated by hate and seek annihilation. There is a need for deep soul-searching on the part of those who support Hamas and believe that they have the best interests of Palestinians at heart. Netanyahu and the Israelis who stand with him, too, must do some soul-searching of their own. Hate and revenge are not sustainable courses of action.
But right now, there can only be one priority. I am pleading with all parties — the U.S., Israel and regional partners — to reach a deal that leads to the release of each of the remaining 136 hostages, including the six remaining living American hostages. Diplomacy is the only way to achieve lasting peace and stability in the region, and it begins with bringing every single hostage home.
