I recently decided to go down memory lane and re-shoot a promotional video I made almost three decades ago, back when I worked in local news:
I was 28 years old and an early morning anchor at Channel Three Eyewitness News in Hartford, Connecticut. The shoot for that video was, believe it or not, the first time I ever had my makeup done professionally. I was nine months pregnant with my first daughter Emilie (who is now 27), and I was extremely nervous.
When I re-shot the same promo just for fun on the set of “Morning Joe” earlier this month, I found it painfully funny – and revealing – that I’ve been working overnights or very early mornings for so long. Yes, the hours have been brutal, but I feel beyond lucky to be working in the industry I love.
But more than anything, looking back at that woman from nearly 30 years ago reading off the teleprompter was a fascinating psychological exercise. Yes, it’s me. But my, how I’ve changed.
Back then, I lacked confidence. Indeed, I was a terrified young woman who had no idea that her career would be thriving well into her 50s.
I distinctly remember being in my late 20s and thinking I would be lucky if I had 15 years left in the television business. Those fears were reinforced when I was fired from my beloved job at CBS around my 39th birthday. And beyond 40, I didn’t see a future at all.
Now, on the cusp of 56, I wish I could share my perspective — hard won through the wisdom of age and experience — with my younger self.
It’s like the Faces song: I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger.
I wish my younger self could see where I am now (alongside so many women we’ve featured on Forbes and Know Your Value’s “50 Over 50” lists). Knowing where my life was headed, I would have been so much happier, confident and relaxed back then. I wish I could talk to that younger version of myself. I wish I could say:
Your career runway is longer than you can ever imagine.
I’d tell myself that you have time — time to start a career, or two, or three. I’d tell myself: You have time to make a family. You have time to make happiness a priority and mistakes a stepping stone.
I’d tell myself that your career runway is longer than you could ever imagine, and that you’re going to have so many twists, turns, disappointments and surprises. And in all those different points in life, you are going to learn something and you will build on that. And when you get to a different place down the road, you will realize there’s still a lot more road to go.
I wish I could say:
Slow down.
In that promo from 28 years ago, I’m talking very quickly. In the new one, I’m actually taking my time, enjoying the message I’m trying to get across and using my voice effectively.
And my voice sounds different too. In the first promo, it’s a nervous voice that’s coming from my neck, instead of a voice that’s confident and happy. I’ve learned that it’s important to have your voice reflect your state of mind. And to make your state of mind happy, you have to slow down and take time for yourself.
As a younger woman, I was always rushing. Speeding through life, trying to cross off the many items on my daily to-do list. I wish I could tell my younger self to slow down and savor life. I’ve since learned that being happy involves being present in the moment and embracing where you are and not always worrying about what’s next.
I wish I could say:
Embrace the chaos that comes with building a family.
Managing a family and a career is hard. The obstacles, logistical headaches, frustrations, and letdowns are unavoidable. But that’s life. It’s okay. Expect things are not going to go as planned, and embrace the left turns that life takes.
Work on relationships that build you up. Looking back, I wish I had looked at my relationships more mindfully rather than frenetically and nervously. And perhaps most importantly, know that it’s healthy to ask for help during this stressful time in your life. There’s no shame in that.
I wish I could say:
Be comfortable with your body.
When I was younger, I over-exercised. Now, I run for fun — because it feels good and it brings me mental clarity. I no longer run to be thin. I run because I like it.
I think about all the miles I’ve slogged through in my lifetime. I wish I could tell my younger self that it wasn’t necessary. If you’re struggling with body image issues, slow down and give yourself time. No changes come quickly. And remember: You can’t have a positive self image when you’re chasing other people’s expectations of what your body should look like. It’s an impossible and unhealthy goal. So set the bar for you, and not what anyone else expects.
I don’t look at this 28-year-old version of myself and mourn my youth. Instead, I celebrate my age. And in a way, I feel sad for this younger version of myself. How confused, scared and lost I was.
I hope my daughters and all young women take this advice because there is so much about life to be enjoyed and savored.
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