Michael Robbins recently moved to New Mexico to be closer to his adult sister with autism. He drives an hour each way to visit her. He brings her french fries and they like to read together. He often goes to his parents’ home to help with gutter clearing and chores around the house.
Jonathan Hammer is a lawyer in Washington, D.C. He makes his kids breakfast, makes dinner most nights, does pick-ups, shuttles the kids to sports and lessons, does laundry, and loves to read to them each night.
Lee Jorwic in Illinois is a retired small business owner and takes care of his mom in her 90s. He also looks after his adult son with disabilities and his grandkids who live in town — all at the same time.
These are stories of real men in America, from our organizations’ networks. But these stories are not the stuff of news headlines. The political pundits might have you believe all men are becoming anti-government, anti-progress, anti-care, and that a toxic masculinity is taking over. Immediately after the presidential election we saw the jockeying for men’s attention — the pandering on podcasts, performances with chainsaws and push-up contests.
Why paid family leave is much more than a women’s issue
But a recent survey of men in America found something different. Ahead of Father’s Day, our organizations — Paid Leave for All, Community Change and Caring Across Generations — conducted a nonpartisan, nationwide poll of 1,000 male registered voters to better understand what men felt about the state of the country, the ways they define masculinity, and the problems and policies that motivate them. What we found wasn’t doom and gloom, but instead, surprising and hopeful.
It turns out men across party lines and different walks of life overwhelmingly want government policies that allow them to be actively involved in their families — and this is connected to their ideas of masculinity, not contrary to it.
As for what they’re feeling, men reported being “hopeful” (52 percent) and “proud” (44 percent) much more often than “frustrated” (35 percent) or “angry” (22 percent), especially for dads.
When provided a list of values, men ranked “family” at the top. They reported being worried about costs and affordability and providing for their families, and they’re equally worried about the health of their families.
Dads said that providing for their family (65 percent) and supporting their family emotionally (58 percent) were top priorities, more than being recognized for their work (32 percent) or advancing in their careers (33 percent).
Most fathers said that taking care of their children (83 percent) made a man more masculine, even more than working a full-time job (76 percent).
And the policies they support? More than 90 percent of men supported paid leave, affordable childcare, and affordable long-term care for all workers.
That included more than 95 percent of dads, more than 90 percent of independents, and 87 percent of Republican men. The numbers of Black, Hispanic, AAPI, and Gen Z men were even higher.
This is monumental — not only in the historic level of support — but in the consistency across parties, ages and race. What’s more, men also believed that taxes should be raised on corporations to do it — even 81 percent of Republican men agreed — and a majority believed that the government is not currently doing enough to support men and their families.
And finally, we found that across party lines, male voters say they would be more likely to support a candidate who champions family policies, like paid leave and affordable care.
It’s often noted that people vote emotionally more than logically, that it’s a mistake to focus on policy rather than identity or values.
What we found in this survey showed that men do connect these issues with their idea of masculinity, with their values and identity. After all, the ability to support and take care of your family is more than a policy agenda, it’s about freedom, strength and dignity.
Perhaps men aren’t all MAGA incels or podcast bros. Perhaps millions of men will fight for real policies and investments that allow us to be there for our families.
And of course, there are men with frustrations and ideologies of all kinds that we should take seriously. Political parties and key players must face a reckoning to win the trust of all voters across gender, race and culture.
Perhaps a better starting place is not just what sells headlines, but what real people say they experience, need and hope for in their daily lives. And maybe we all share more than we’ve been led to believe.
This Father’s Day, consider what our poll might say about the real values, real families and the real lives of men. Every one of us will need to give and receive care in our lifetimes, and this is something that unites us, something we share. In a time of danger and division, these findings reveal a hopeful story about gender, care and the future we could build for all of our families.
